Consequences
Source/Author: Mike Murphy, Headmaster
April 21, 2017
What could be the consequence for the following behaviors?
- Learning the multiplication tables by heart in fourth grade
- Training for a sport or activity year round
- Being kind to every person in the class
- Offering service to the same organization all four years of Upper School
- Participating in every writing and speaking competition offered
- Earning the Eagle or Gold status in scouting
- Working all summer
- Seeking out a coach or teacher to guide you with a specialized interest
Interestingly, we often think of consequences for mistakes or failings but there are obviously consequences for our positive behaviors. The challenge with positive consequences is that very few people have the foresight or motivation to understand how one’s behavior today will impact the future. So, parents/guardians, educators, coaches and directors have a responsibility to inspire our children and students to envision the future and understand the potential benefits of engaging deeply into one or more special interests.
The parent / guardian, teacher / coach role is complicated by the individual ways in which people respond to challenge, inspiration and the hard work that is needed to excel. We hear too many stories about the parent / guardian, teacher / coach who drove a student until the young person experienced burnout, revolted, escaped with the use of drugs and/or alcohol or developed a social-emotional disorder requiring therapy and prescription drugs to address anxiety, depression or other challenges.
We see that parents, guardians, teachers and coaches who work in partnership with each other and listen to the young people with whom they work, make the greatest strides with their students. We see students who have adults in their lives who are the perfect blend of demanding and patient having a huge impact on the growth of the students. One cannot overstate the importance of patient, one-on-one coaching / instruction.
Recently, while on a service trip with a group of senior boys, my colleague Erich Schneider and I observed how the National Park leader pulled aside boys who were struggling with the task of splitting a log with a Pulaski. For some boys the task was natural. For others, one-on-one instruction combined with patience and inspiration led to success. The experience could have easily become a moment of embarrassment, or even mild humiliation. Instead, the instruction and inspiration from our leader resulted in individual and group success.
Our children are growing up in a very competitive world. All of our efforts to patiently provide opportunities for them to excel in whatever area that becomes a positive and constructive passion, could have the consequence of opening up collegiate and career opportunities. Let’s do all we can to work together to help our children thrive.
Mike
